I am revisiting this blog post of mine after 11 years of the original date of publishing. Many things have changed during this time, including insights about addictions. The fundamental realization is ‘All of us are addicted’ to something or other. Addictions are what we do repeatedly automatically. Some are positive addictions resulting in positive results, and others negative addictions which result in negative results. During the past 10 years, I got wiser and I was blessed to have surrounded by positive addicts. That list include, entrepreneurs, health freaks, techies, photographers, home makers… They indulge in their positive addictions consistently and are enjoying. Another major observation is the emergence of social media usage, and pornography which are easy to hide than alcoholism and drugs, and at the same time are big time spoilers. These factors motivates me to update this post more frequently than once in a decade.
Here is the original post
I just spoke to a friend of mine today evening (31st Dec 2009) and asked him what he is up to this new year eve and he said ‘Nothing’, I am with family. I cannot imagine him without consuming alcohol on a new year’s eve. What about me….there was a time when I use to feel as if my life is wasted if I do not consume alcohol on a new year eve, and this new year’s eve I am also sitting dry. It does not take too much time for people to change. Do not think that I have quit drinking altogether. Now I am an occasional drinker who have absolute control on the when and where of drinking alcohol.
Can people change overnight?. The resolution to stop is overnight, and the process is gradual. One day the urge to change must manifest and must mutter enough courage to say ‘ I do not need it’. ‘I am trying to stop smoking’ is a big lie. ‘I did not smoke today’ or ‘I quit smoking’ is more genuine. The moment we say ‘I am trying’ or ‘I will try my best’…it does not mean an all out attempt.
When I was ‘trying to stop’ smoking….the most painful aspect was not ‘quitting smoking’, but the restriction of ‘cannot smoke again’ which revolted the freedom fighter in me. So this new year ‘no resolutions’. Smoking is bad for health…and it can kill…still if you want to smoke …smoke…and at the same time have enough bank balance for hospitalization or have a good medical insurance which will pay for your hospital bills. The same holds good for drinking as well.
When I see the half hearted attempts by governments to stop smoking and drinking (Kerala is known for it), my blood boils. They do not prohibit the selling of tobacco…and at the same time campaign against smoking. They want the income from the taxes of these products…..let the citizens die…..we want the money….
” Smoking can stop you…if you do not stop smoking”. To be honest, no body is interested in our addictions except us. Others want to leverage our addictions. This problem is getting aggravated with artificial intelligence and social media. When I open facebook, I see the ads of those items i searched on amazon recently. When I post something in social media, i am tempted to go back and see how others are reacting to it. All these are time wasters and big time negative addictions. Even working on this blog post (a positive addiction in the making) to combat my negative facebook addiction.
- Idle mind is devils workshop. So, try to be occupied. We can eliminate negative addictions by developing positive addictions.
- Develop positive addictions, and slowly you will start disliking the negative ones.
- Be in the company of positive addicts, which will help you to receive positive vibes frequently.
- Most of others do not have much interest in your addictions, so there is no need to divulge your resolutions to everyone.
- Once you resolve to stop, you will fail several times for sure, and do not transform them as opportunities to go back to older addictions. Just get up from where you have fallen, and pursue the positive addictions.